A Witness of Him

My Name

2 Timothy 3:12

“And whoso taketh upon him My Name, and endureth to the end, the same shall be saved at the last day.”

Within the many layers of this singular verse one word is stated clearly so that all may understand: “Name”. Name’s are important. Name’s often trail the beliefs, or actions of a person; such as, I, Jennica Margaret Smith, am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Anyone who knows this can immediately assume I am Christian, and from that can assume something about how I try to live my life. The Name of Jesus Christ is the single most important name since the beginning of our universe. But His import does not mean our names are without import; actually it’s the opposite. They are of great importance. 3 Nephi 10 reads (emphasis added):

“And now behold, it came to pass that all the people of the land did hear these sayings, and did witness of it.” (For more information on why I believe the Book of Mormon to be an equivalent companion scripture to that of the New and Old Testament, click here: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/?lang=eng)

When we take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ we are covenanting not only to follow what He has asked and commanded of us, but also that we will bear witness of Him through our life and actions. Thus our own names are to be witnesses, of His name. We ultimately take upon ourselves His name through our learning of Him, through reading the words of the men and woman who have born their witness of His Grandeur and Godliness in actuality. Without witnesses sharing His many words and works throughout time, we would be lost.

I am a witness. It is time I too now stand and bear my witness of Him. There are those who know for themselves I can bear that witness, some who are personal witnesses themselves to some of my deepest truths. They have and do actively seek to destroy my name because of of the life I have lived and my inability to back down from truths, especially those in which another has been injured. I have stood for those who can’t stand for themselves on several occasions, this stance has been twisted by one man to be used as proof of his delusions – he knows nothing of my actions, has not once in 20 years sought to know anything of my life or experiences, so rather stalks me in various ways to glean bits of truth that he can twist into his fantasy. I know the experiences that brought him to this darkness, and don’t blame him for his actions; I pray my Savior will likewise show His mercy. But the time has come that I spend my life as I have so covenanted to do. I have covenanted to be a witness of Jesus Christ, and His a eternal truths. To do so – I am taking back, my name.

Not too long ago, someone I admire posted a statement about me that was untrue. Publicly, and as it was deeply personal – libelously. Though she identified me only by relationship, she posted several of my photo’s and made it clear of whom she spoke. I am the only human in existence who holds the facts, as I am the one who started and put on pause the situation; thus, I am the only living person who can claim to know the whole truth of the situation she took ownership of. She used my person, my picture, my most personal truths, falsely – to bare herself up (in an effort to spread light and truth). I have been in her shoes. The path is long, and it is hard. My home, my arms, my heart – has never, will never, could never, close to her.

To those, to any, to one – to none, possibly to only our Dear Father and Brother – even God and His Son, I must stand and lay claim to my name. I have let it be defiled over half of my life. My intentions were pure, my heart cared only for the one who sought my destruction and his ultimate salvation. I felt responsible for the foundation he built his tall tales on (which I could never have been, my guilt has been as misplaced as his slander), and let that responsibility go too far. He has carried his claims so far as to be criminally libelous and slanderous, a route I hope not to pursue but will if he continues. He has written a paper about me which is nothing but a lie from page 1 to page 100 to page 1000. Honestly I wanted to throw up half way through, an attorney will have to tell me how far it goes. All I can truthfully say about the length, is: it goes too far. Now he has sought to blind others, those I have barely run across the path of in my life to those I hold dear. He has gone so far in his desperation to make me responsible for his poor choices, he has invited several people for personal dinners or lunches (much to their surprise at times) for the express purpose of slandering my name.

This has taken place since I was around 18 years old. I went through much joy as a child, but I struggled through much darkness as well. No 18 year old should have to deal with the weight of someone, often without work and much time on their hands, expressly seeking to destroy their character, (and through the destruction of that, their life). No 18 year old struggling to grasp onto the newness of the “adult” world should ever have anyone running behind her telling the world tall tales regarding anything and everything that takes place in her life – doing so never having spoken with her or anyone actually involved, rather gleaning through third party gossip, regarding situations I found myself in – and spinning whatever stories he heard into the fantasy he has created about me. I repeat, he has never – in twenty years, asked about my life – much of which took place thousands of miles from him. With literally every situation that has arisen in my life. I have been stalked, specifically so I could be slandered – a little truth, with a whole lot of lie (see: 2 Timothy 3:13.) I will stand at this man’s side before God one day, and plead for mercy – because he deserves that gift, but in this life – I know him no more.

There will be no more slander (Psalms 31:18). It ends with one I love being so bold as to publicly spread his, and others, slander. My name, my character, my life – they are mine – I have taken responsibility for more than I am personally responsible for. I have loved, forgiven, hated, hurt, angered, and experienced every other human emotion our Dear Father and Brother intended for us to experience, including some most will never have to endure. But never, in my existence, have I recklessly and intentionally harmed another individual. Never. Not with words, and my heavens not with actions. I have a conscience. I am alive today, because I know My God – our God, all of our Father, the very One of Whom Our Savior said:

“If ye had known Me, ye should have known My Father also; and from henceforth ye know Him and have seen Him.” (John 14:7.)

Yes, I believe the scriptures I testify to believe in, and I believe in them literally as well as spiritually. (See: Articles of Faith 10.) I could not do as I have been accused. If I have called another to stop choices I know they are making, the decision to do so is out of love for them. Their decision to deny the truth and turn and slander my name, is not my responsibility.

For those shaking their heads and saying, “but, but…you!”, ask yourself: have you heard from me directly? If you have, was it in defense of someone or someones who couldn’t/can’t defend themselves? I have only ever spoken what I believed at the time to be absolute truth (Isaiah 63:8). If I later have had to make a correction, I have always done so, willingly, without requirement; done so and will do so. If I have not, then what I stated is as I stated it. I have sought to defend those I love throughout the times in life that called for it, appropriately. That is why most who know anything about me or my life, know it only through gossip. That is why hardly any of you who believe you know a lot about me, actually know next to nothing (2 Timothy 3:12). And frankly, it is not to those who have allowed themselves to be so deceived that I am speaking – it is to those to whom you will seek to spread what you have heard, to. We are adults, we know better. There is never a time to seek to prove the character, or lack there of, of another – there is never a time to participate in gossip. Most of those who may read this, know as I know that we have a God, a Father, and we have a Savior – and They have commanded us to love one another as ourselves (ourselves, or expanded – how God loves us). It’s time we stop sharing what we have no personal witness of, and assume the best – never the worst. If someone seeks to spread negative information about me, what light are they speaking in? Have we not been taught by which light we know the truth? When do we apply that lesson? For those of you shouting that I have talked negatively of another, was the situation I spoke of dire? If I was telling the truth (hint: I was), was it not impossible to tell the truth as it was despite it revealing the negative harmful choices of another? Is forgiveness necessary while another is being injured? Or do we protect the innocent, and love the accused by demanding they take responsibility for their actions and no longer live a lie that is dire to others? May I ask you to think before speaking? And may I suggest: Turn to your Savior and make His light the only light by which you judge. Ask Him who I am before you spread another’s lies. He lives. He loves each one of you. I know Him personally. He will bear witness of the truths I speak, while teaching me how to do it better – next time. And there will be a next time. I have been cut off from nearly everyone in the world I love (excepting my own little family), horrible lies have been told about me – but I can promise you, I will never stop bearing witness of truth. That is who I am, that is who I have always been – your words can’t change my soul.

I was thinking one day of those who have spread his tales, in comparison to those who have listened and simply walked away (or, simply, literally, walked away refusing to listen to what was immediately apparent as wrong) – coming only to me to let me know they had heard (and how they had been approached by him), but were highly uncomfortable with the slander. It as if those who walked away can see clearly as they walk away from the darkness his slander is spread in; they refuse to partake by spreading his lies, which refusal allows them to see and feel truth. In comparison, those who walk away and spread a little of his slander, and a little more, and a little more – it’s as if a “mist” comes upon their minds and in at least this one area (or any area in which I exist in life), they can no longer see light, or truth. They have partaken of the darkness that exists in lies and are blinded by what I imagine as a haze or, “dark mist” (1 Nephi 8). It’s quite an amazing feet actually, one I never thought to personally witness, especially so up close and personal. However I have witnessed it. There is no light in speaking poorly of one another, for any reason excepting in perfect truth (as far as we know it), in defense of another. If you can justify actions you know our Savior has commanded us not to partake in, you are living in that mist. Find a way out, find a way home.

To those who have partaken and are laughing at me now, experiment – just try (Alma 32). How have we been taught to step from the “mist”? “Hold to the rod”? And if you are? Are you in every area of life? Have you taken what you’ve heard of me, or you’ve decided about me, to Father and Son? When you talk about me, do you feel peace, love, joy…? If not, what do you feel and where do those feelings come from? The Lord has taught us clearly, so all may plainly understand, how to discern all truth. Is He the Light by which ye judge?

You may look at my recent efforts over my loved ones defense, in those thoughts I would suggest: think – before accusing. Or even better: pray, and ponder, seek out our Father and Elder Brother as we’ve been taught to do in all ways, step away from all sides. And for heavens sake, stop talking. Trust me, you’ve been overcome by, and are most certainly spreading, a “dark mist”. Actually, don’t trust me, never trust me. I am human – fallen from the choice of Mother Eve, completely flawed and eternally regretting my quick decisions, so…only, trust your Father in Heaven, and His Son. If you cannot yet hear Them, ask Them to teach you; daily, hourly, minute to minute, to teach you to discern between Them, as well as between them and Satan – and then trust only Them. And yes, I am 100% confident enough to not only ask you, but literally beg you – get all your answers, from Them. Where my flaws may be put on full display, at least my heart will also.

I can see some of my loved ones now thinking I most certainly must have lost my mind. I site scripture. I compare family and friends to ancient visions. I talk of Father and Son as if…I know Them? It’s almost as if I believe Jesus Christ was the Half Immortal Son of God who walked and talked on earth, and died for each and every one of us, and has promised if we turn to Him we can know not only Him but though Him, our Heavenly Father. It’s as if I believe that Through Them we can continue to learn more of Them (even here in this mortal existence). Super crazy stuff. I express orally, publicly, loudly, in the written word! What we all (those slandering my name at least) profess to believe. Think, before you speak ill of a sibling of our Father in Heaven, please.

From this day forward I will take no credit for anything anyone presents as written by me, without it going through me directly at an account that will be given hereafter to very few, or through my attorney. Everything I have digitally has been broken into, including bank accounts, social media accounts, all the way down to journals. My childhood/young adult, hand written journals, have been stolen (by someone who has practiced handwriting extensively), as well as every other piece of literature I have ever written. Even the hard drive out of the computer, used solely in my first marriage, was stolen out it while it lie on the shelf of my current garage. There is nothing that cannot have been tampered with by those few who seek my destruction. Thus, this is the first piece I lay 100% claim to. And yes, there are those, but one especially, who are spreading false, and slanderous lies – and yes, it stops here and now. I have and will always take responsibility for my actions, I am, always have been, and will continue, trying my hardest to simply be a kind human. Anything less, and probably anything above – is a lie.

This is my life, this is my name – from this day forward, may it only be remembered as: Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, and Witness of our Dear Savior. So I may bear witness of His Name, I will clear My name.

He Lives. He’s Come. He’ll come again. I do know Him. Of this I so testify with all my soul.

Jennica Margaret Smith

2 Timothy 3

1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

4 Traitors, heady, high minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,

7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

8 Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.

9 BUT THEY SHALL PROCEED NO FURTHER: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.

10 But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience,

11 Persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me.

12 Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

13 But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.

14 But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;

15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

I so testify and bear my witness to the truths shared above. We are living in the last days. We have been called to gather Israel spiritually, and physically. Those of you alive today will live to witness biblical miracles. You will know He has come, and He is coming again. To bear my witness of these truth, to teach them to my children that they might do the same – that is my purpose. Anyone who adds the ability to put myself in the power of our other brother, even satan – is lying to you. If you have not come to my home and spoken to me, then stop spreading what you truly know nothing of. For your sake, I pray.